Loneliness: Accident or Injustice was commissioned by the Diocese of Oxford (Board of Mission) and the Archway Foundation in response to research by the Church of England and Church Urban Fund which found social isolation was the most wide-spread social concern of our time.

I was invited to write a publication that looked at the prevalence of loneliness, what the churches are doing to help build communities and reflect theologically on my findings.

The Church in Action report found social isolation is not restricted to parish size or social class. It’s more often noted in deprived parishes (81 per cent) than affluent ones – but even amongst the well-off, 55 per cent of leaders say loneliness is a significant cause of concern.

It was an absolute delight to be using my journalism skills again as I sat and listened to people talking about their sadness.  At times I felt over-whelmed and needed to go for long walks to take care of myself.

But it was also hopeful and beautiful to see and to celebrate the small, ordinary acts of kindness being done in church halls, between neighbours, on sofas in community centres with knitting and nattering.

To read extracts from Loneliness: Accident or Injustice? click on the following links:

• What does loneliness look like?
• Loneliness and mental health
• Loneliness and older people
• Loneliness and younger people
• Loneliness and new communities
• Loneliness and rural communities

You can also download the whole publication: Loneliness Accident or Injustice by Jo Ind (PDF 536KB)

• Loneliness: Accident or Injustice? will be launched at the Wesley Memorial Methodist Church, Oxford on Tuesday, 19 January 2016.

Rural communities are becoming older communities as people move to the countryside to retire and young people, unable to afford the rising house prices, find they have to move out. In rural areas 23% of the population is over retirement age compared to 18% in urban areas.^[1]

“In rural areas, you find people whose families have lived there for three or four generations,” says Glyn Evans, Rural Officer, Diocese of Oxford. “When their children have to live elsewhere, they experience a loneliness that is about more than not being able to see much of their grandchildren. There’s a sense of bewilderment and failure that their children weren’t able to stay as they had expected.” The younger generation can feel dislocated too. Many move to new estates, where the housing is affordable, but they mourn the loss of being close to their families and the rural way of life.

Poor service infrastructure in rural communities

There are no buses. The church takes me to Soup Saturday once a month and my neighbour takes me out for a coffee. I use dial-a-ride to do my shopping once a week. Without those things, I’m stuck here. (Phylis, aged 90, Oxfordshire)

Older people living in the countryside are vulnerable to loneliness in the same way as those who live in cities (see page 9) but in rural areas, the loneliness is compounded by poor service infrastructure. A lack of public transport is the most significant issue facing older people in the countryside.^[2] Services like pubs, village stores, post offices and healthcare are declining at a faster rate in rural than in urban areas,  making it difficult for those without cars to get what they need, including company[3]. Even the church can be seen as a depleting resource, with one vicar now serving as many as 12 parishes.

A church’s response to loneliness in rural communities

Recognising that weekends can be particularly lonely times in the countryside, parishioner Lin Mills set up a monthly Soup Saturday at St Mary’s, Bloxham, Oxfordshire, where more than 40 people share soup made and served by people in the village.  Local taxi driver, Jimmy, picks people up free of charge. Judy Marshall, Soup Saturday co-ordinator, says: “There seems to be a growing awareness at the church of the need to look after people who are on their own.  We have always done it, but there’s a movement to do it more.”

[1] Oxford Consultants for Social Inclusion, for Cabinet Office (2009)

[2] The Housing Support Needs of Older People in Rural Areas, Commission for Rural Communities and the Housing Corporation (2006)

[3] Smalley k, Warren J, Mental Health in Rural Areas found in Rural Mental Health (2014)

Stigma and loneliness in rural communities

There is a stigma around loneliness. Psychiatrist Jacqueline Olds has noted many patients seeking help for anxiety or depression are reluctant to admit that loneliness is their real problem. ‘We found it was very difficult for our patients to talk about their isolation, which seemed to fill them with deep shame,”[1] she says.

The evidence suggests this is particularly true in rural communities. “The impact of stigma is well-recognised in rural areas,” say Smalley and Warren.[2] “The level of stigma increases as the size of the community decreases.” There is also less anonymity.  In rural areas, it’s more likely a resident’s car will be spotted at a GP surgery or counselling service and that word will spread.  “As a result, rural residents with mental health concerns face increased burdens of isolation and loneliness.”

As a way of avoiding stigma, Age UK recommends providing opportunities for groups that focus on an activity rather than being advertised as a way of combating loneliness.[3] “In rural areas you can feel as though you live in a goldfish bowl as it is,” says Glyn Evans.  “The Farming Community Network tries to get over that stigma by emphasising that it’s OK to tell someone about your worries.  We encourage people not to wait until they are the end of their tether before they seek help. We say it’s OK to feel lonely.”

Fact file on loneliness in rural communties

• The Diocese of Oxford is classed as rural.^[4]
• Extrapolating from the rural-urban calculations, it’s estimated 75% of the population in Oxfordshire, 40% of those in Buckinghamshire and 85% in West Berkshire live in a rural community.^[5]
• The reduction in local amenities such as shops, post offices and doctors’ surgeries is greater in rural areas than in urban ones, resulting in exclusion from service provision.^[6]
• Broadband is not available in many rural areas. The average download speed in urban areas is 40 MB per second, compared with 14 MB per second in rural areas.[7]
• People in rural areas receive less social care per head than those in urban areas. Expenditure across the 12 inner London boroughs in 2009-10 was £1,750 per person aged 65+ compared to £773 per capita across the 27 shire counties.^[8]
• And yet older rural residents tend to downplay their experience of disadvantage.[9]

[1] Olds J and Schwartz R, The Lonely  American: Drifting Apart in the Twenty-first Century (2009)

[2] Smalley k, Warren J, Mental Health in Rural Areas found in Rural Mental Health (2014)

[3] Davidson s, Rossall P, Age UK Loneliness Evidence Review (Revised July 2014)

[4] Stronger as One? Amalgamations and Church Attendance, Church Growth Research Programme p14

[5] Department for Food and Rural Affairs, Rural-Urban Classification of Local Authority Districts in England, Office for National Statistics (2011)

[6] Burgess S The Report of the Rural Advocate, Commission for Rural Communities (2008)

[7] ISP Review July 2015

[8] The implications of national funding formulae for rural health and education funding, All Party Parliamentary Group on Rural Affairs, 2010

[9] Scharf T and Bartlam B, Ageing and Social Exclusion in Rural Communities, Rural Ageing: A Good Place to Grow Old? P97-108 (2008)

This is the sixth of a series of posts on loneliness. It is based on Loneliness Accident or Injustice by Jo Ind, a joint publication from the Diocese of Oxford (Board of Mission) and the Archway Foundation.

The housing estates being built in the Diocese of Oxford have never had post offices.  Known as new communities (euphemistically perhaps), they don’t even have post boxes at first.  Most don’t have pubs, shops, community centres, doctors’ surgeries or schools either.

Research has shown that when people have spaces in which to meet, friendships and social networks are sustained. People living in Manhattan, New York, for example, experience it as an urban village even though half of them live in lone households. This is because there are cafés and alternative places to hang out.[3] When people have nowhere to go, they experience a void rather than a heart. There’s a sense of isolation that generates a particular kind of feeling alone.

And these places in which people are vulnerable to loneliness, are being built right across the wider Thames Valley. In the Oxford Diocese, there are 38 new communities being created in ten Oxford deaneries affecting 48 parishes. Bicester will double in size, so will Aylesbury. Milton Keynes will get considerably larger.[4]

The role of the church combating loneliness in new communities

Within these estates, the church has a significant role to play. “Developers build houses, but churches seek to engage communities,” says Peter Morgan, New Communities Development Officer, Diocese of Oxford. By moving in, baking cakes as welcome gifts, writing newsletters, holding street parties and setting up mother and toddler groups, the church can help create places where people can flourish.

It can also act as a bridge between the developers and those who live on the estate. Developers have to provide schools and community centres but not before people have moved in and not necessarily in the way they need. There is a role for the church in forming relationships with planners and builders to help ensure the appropriate community facilities are written into plans and delivered on time. “There is no other resource on the estate,” said Captain John Bentley, New Community Minister, Kingsmere, Bicester. “We have created a means by which people can find out what’s happening, where to go and be a community.”

[1] The Network Change Programme was announced by the UK Government in May 2007 in response to declining use of post offices which was leading to unplanned closure of branches.

[2] Post Office Closures: Impact of the Network Change Programme, Consumer Focus Wales (2010)

[3] Weiss,  R. Loneliness: The Experience of Emotional and Social Isolation Cambridge. MA: The MIT Press (1975)

[4] New Communities Group, Summary of Large-Scale Housing Development, Diocese of Oxford (2015)

The role of Facebook in developing new communities

Pros

• A residents Facebook page can be a way of letting people know about activities. A survey in Great Western Park showed it was far more effective than newsletters or word of mouth.
• Residents can use the page as a way of sharing information and advice.
• Many residents find Facebook a natural way to find others on the estate and suggest meeting up.
• A Facebook page can be used to conduct surveys on residents’ hopes and experience of facilities which can be used as data to present to developers.

Cons

• Not all estates have the broadband infrastructure meaning some residents can’t easily get online.
• Sometimes residents use Facebook to communicate where a face-to-face conversation would work better – such as complaining about the way a neighbour has parked a car.

Fact file on new communities in the Diocese of Oxford

• There is pressure on government to build houses. In 2004, the Barker Report recommended building 245,000 private sector homes per year.[1] This target has never been met. In England, 118,760 homes were completed in the 12 months to December 2014, which is 8 per cent higher than the previous year.[2]
• The wider Oxford Diocese is a popular place to live because it offers employment. For example, the Thames Valley, Berkshire is the most profitable part of the country aside from London. It has the fourth highest proportion of adults educated to degree level or above and the fifth lowest unemployment rates in the UK.[3]
• Between 2001 and 2011, parts of the Oxford Diocese had some of the largest population increases in the country – Milton Keynes (17 per cent), Slough (16.3 per cent), Oxford (12.1 per cent). By comparison the population across the whole of England and Wales increased by just 7 per cent.[4]
• It’s estimated that between 2015 and 2020, the population of Slough will have increased by 14.7 per cent, West Berkshire by 7.9 per cent, Reading by 6.4 per cent and Alyesbury Vale by 5.4 per cent. By 2030, the population of Slough will have increased by 35. 3 per cent, West Berkshire by 22 per cent, Reading by 18.8 per cent and Alyesbury Vale by 14.7 per cent. [5]

[1] Barker K, Review of Housing Supply Final Report – Recommendations Delivering Stability: Securing our Future Housing Needs: HM Treasury (2004)

[2] House Building: December Quarter 2014, England: Department for Communities and Local Government (2015)

[3] Housing Supply: Opportunities for Economic Growth: Barton Willmore p3 (2013)

[4]  Population and Household Estimates for England and Wales: Office for National Statistics (2012)

[5] Subnational Population Projections, 2012-based projection: Office for National Statistics (2014)

This is the fifth of a series of posts on loneliness. It is based on Loneliness Accident or Injustice by Jo Ind, a joint publication from the Diocese of Oxford (Board of Mission) and the Archway Foundation.

One reason is that younger people are more likely to be unemployed than older adults. The unemployment rate for 18 to 24-year-olds is 14% compared with 4.2% in the 25 to 49 bracket and 3.2% in the over 50s.[2]  Rachel Green is project manager for Starting Point, a charity based in Reading, Berkshire providing mentoring and work experience to young people not in education, employment or training.  She says loneliness is a pervasive issue amongst her clients.

“If you don’t get a job or go to university, you lose your peer group when you leave school and you can feel isolated very quickly. If our young people are applying for jobs, they might be getting constant rejections which can affect their self-esteem and make them feel lonely. They can then get into isolating habits like sleeping all day and being awake at night. It’s very easy to go on a downward spiral from there.”

But even young people who are surrounded by thousands of peers, like students, are vulnerable to loneliness. Kate Ward-Perkins, University of Reading Peer Support Co-ordinator, says: “Our sense of belonging comes from being known. When you arrive at university, you might be in a context where nobody knows you. That feeling of not being recognised can mean you lose your internal moorings and don’t know who you are. That’s a lonely feeling and people respond by either becoming frantically social or withdrawing.

“It’s also a time in life when the task is to separate from parents.  This separation means you become more dependent on your peers for your sense of wellbeing. That can make it difficult to acknowledge your vulnerability to your peers.  ‘Face’ becomes important – not losing face.  There’s a tendency for young people to develop a personae that others find acceptable. It can feel very lonely behind that face.”

[1] Aviva Healthcheck UK Report p 30 (2014). Also The Lonely Society? Mental Health Foundation p 22 (2010)

[2] Labour Market Statistics, May 2015

How technology impacts on loneliness

There are mixed views on whether the technology that connects people increases or decrease loneliness. Social media can reduce isolation by making it easy to stay in touch but it can compound loneliness when it’s used as a substitute for face-to-face contact. Almost one third of 18 to 24-year-olds (31%) say they spend too much time communicating with friends and family online when they should be seeing them in person.[1]

Psychologist Dr Aric Sigman has argued that social networking sites undermine social skills.[2] Rachel Green, of Starting Point, has noticed this too. She says some young people develop relationships online around a niche interest, like Japanese movies, at the expense of face-to-face friendships.  “When this happens they aren’t developing their social skills,” says Rachel.  “So if they get a job and there’s a difficult situation, they might not have learnt to deal with a confrontation and they might just walk out. You learn these skills through face-to-face relationships.”

On the other hand, social media can connect people who might otherwise feel lonely. Reading University has a society called R U Not Drinking Much? for students who don’t want to get smashed.  Its presence on Facebook helps students find each other before they even arrive. “I’m not a huge drinker,” posted a fresher-to-be. “I’m so glad I found this group.”

Fact file on loneliness and younger people

• More than a third (36%) of 18 to 34-year-olds worry about feeling lonely.[3]
• More than half (53%) of 18 to 34-year-olds have felt depressed because they have felt alone.[4]
• More than a quarter (27%) of 18 to 24-year-olds have suffered anxiety in the past year compared with 23% of 35 to 44-year-olds and 11% of people aged over 65.[5]
• And yet 42% per cent of 18 to 34-year-olds would be embarrassed to admit feeling lonely, compared with 23% of those aged 55 or more.[6]

[1] Griffin J, The Lonely Society? The Mental Health Foundation p 41 (2010)

[2] Sigman A, The Biological   Implications of Social Networking, The Biologist Vol 56, 1 (2009)

[3] Griffin J, The Lonely Society? The Mental Health Foundation p22 (2010)

[4] Griffin J, The Lonely Society? The Mental Health Foundation p22 (2010)

[5] The Aviva Healthcheck UK Report p 29-40 (2014)

[6] Griffin J, The Lonely Society? The Mental Health Foundation p 41 (2010)

This is the fourth of a series of posts on loneliness. It is based on Loneliness Accident or Injustice by Jo Ind, a joint publication from the Diocese of Oxford (Board of Mission) and the Archway Foundation.

Loneliness is not an inevitable part of old age, but older people are at particular risk of becoming lonely due to the increased likelihood they will experience bereavement and ill health. What’s more, the risks of being lonely are increasing due to changes in our social structure, including:

•  families becoming more scattered so there is less chance the elderly will be living close to their sons or daughters
• families becoming smaller, so there are fewer sons or daughters to visit parents when they become less mobile
•  increasing numbers of households where both partners go out to work, so people are less available to call in on parents than they were in previous generations
• cuts in social services – an estimated two million people aren’t getting the care they need.

What churches are doing to combat loneliness

In a survey of Church of England membership, in 2007, it was found that the average church-goer is aged 61, while the average age in the population as a whole was 48. In some rural parishes, the average church-goer was older than 65 . This can be seen negatively – indeed it usually is – but it could also be an indication that the church is good at serving the needs of the elderly.

Canon James Woodward, author of Valuing Age, says: “The deepest roots of loneliness are spiritual. The distinctive gift of the church is that it helps us engage with the vulnerabilities we become so aware of in old age.”
It also provides an intergenerational community. “When I worked with a care sheltered community at Temple Balsall, people would often say it was a very nice, but they didn’t want to live only with other older people,” says James. “The church creates community, across generations, between young and old, which many older people enjoy and need.”

But Ruth Swift, Age UK Oxfordshire, cautions against complacency. “Churches can inadvertently make older people feel invisible by not asking their ideas, by publishing youth events far and wide while assuming everyone knows about activities for older people, by providing information in a small font that older people can’t read… All these things subliminally contribute to loneliness by communicating that older people aren’t as valued. But churches do care and when they think about these things, they care fantastically well.”

Fact file on loneliness and older people

• As many as 13% of people aged 75 or over said they were always or often lonely.[1]
• More than 40% of people aged 65 and over in the UK feel out of touch with the pace of modern life and 12% say they feel cut off from society.[2]
• Nearly half of older people say that television or pets are their main form of company.[3]
• Five per cent of people aged over 65 say they spent Christmas Day alone.[4]
• More than 10% of over 65s said they never spent time with their family.[5]
• Only 35% of people aged over 65 spent time with friends most days or every day in the last two weeks, and 12% never did.[6]
• A third of people aged 55 or over (33%) would like to live closer to family so that we could see them more often.[7]

[1]Later Life in the United Kingdom: Age UK (2015)

[2] As above

[3] As above

[4] As above

[5] As above

[6] As above

[7] Griffin J, The Lonely Society? The Mental Health Foundation p 41 (2010)

This is the third of a series of posts on loneliness. It is based on Loneliness Accident or Injustice by Jo Ind, a joint publication from the Diocese of Oxford (Board of Mission) and the Archway Foundation.

How poor mental health can lead to loneliness

There are many different reasons why having a mental health problem can exacerbate people’s experience of loneliness. These include:

• low self-esteem as a result of the condition causing withdrawal from others
• experiencing stigma or discrimination
• having an anxiety or phobia that makes it difficult to leave the house
• taking medication that causes shaking or slurred speech which is misunderstood
• losing a job and the self-esteem and sense of belonging that can go with it
• behaving aggressively because of the condition which can strain relationships.

Social causes of poor mental health

While anybody of any social class or background can develop a mental health condition, we also know that poor mental health is related to factors such as poor transport, neighbourhood disorganisation and racial discrimination[1].

“There’s an element of shame to do with mental health – one’s sense of self-worth is reduced. People don’t want to spend time with you.” (Bill, who has had depression.)

Wealth inequality is another factor. The World Health Organisation has found that unequal societies, such as Britain, have more pronounced levels of mental health problems than more equal ones[2].

This is true at a local level too. Dr Dave Furze, has researched what happens where neighbourhoods at the bottom of the UK Index of Multiple Deprivation are in close proximity to those in the top two per cent[3].  “There’s increased stigma and isolation and there’s often an associated lack of hope,” he says. “When people see those nearby living in big houses and driving fast cars, they feel there’s no way out and they just sort of accept it – unless there is some kind of catalyst for community development.”

Combatting the loneliness that causes and is caused by mental health conditions is not just about dealing with individuals, however, important that is.  It also demands paying attention to the inequalities that lead to poor housing, poor transport and unequal community services and facilities. The church is well placed to be a presence in areas where there is need for friendly spaces through which people can belong.

People with mental health conditions say what they need to feel less alone

“Gardening. Being able to plant things and watch things grow, especially if this is done with other people.”

“The existence of people of good will who want to understand what it’s like for someone else and who can get them to reach a level of relationship that’s right for them.”

“Having somewhere to go, that’s near with friendly people. When you have a mental health condition, there’s a fence that goes round you.  You can very easily get into the habit of getting isolated and never leaving the house. It happens so quickly.”

 [1] Singleton N, Bumpstead R, O’Brien M, Lee A, Meltzer H, Psychiatric Morbidity Among Adults Living In Private Households, 2000 London: The Stationery Office p77, (2001)

[2] Prevention Of Mental Disorders Geneva: World Health Organisation p29, (2004)

[3] Buckinghamshire Sure Start Partnership: Deprivation Amongst Affluence (2000)

This is the second of a series of posts on loneliness. It is based on Loneliness Accident or Injustice by Jo Ind, a joint publication from the Diocese of Oxford (Board of Mission) and the Archway Foundation.

Loneliness: Accident or Injustice? was commissioned by the Diocese of Oxford in response to research by the Church of England and Church Urban Fund which found that loneliness or social isolation was the most prevelant social concern of our time.

The Church in Action report found that loneliness is not restricted to parish size or social class. It’s more often noted in deprived parishes (81 per cent) than affluent ones – but even amongst the well-off, 55 per cent of leaders say loneliness is a significant cause of concern.

In response to this, the Department of Mission in the Oxford Diocese commissioned a publication looking at the causes of loneliness, celebrating what churches are doing to address the issue and making recommendations.

Over the next few weeks, I shall be sharing some of my findings in a series of blog posts but in order to do this, I had to ask myself an interesting question – how am I going to illustrate my post? In other words: “What does loneliness look like?”

This is the question that John Morse-Brown, of Morse-Brown Design, also had to think about that when he designed the front cover for the book.  You can download the publication: Loneliness Accident or Injustice by Jo Ind (PDF 536KB) if you want to see what he came up with.

For this post,  I have decided to use an image of nature.  That is partly a cheat, I know (holds up hands) but it’s also because I believe feeling connected to nature is the ultimate antidote to loneliness.  Knowing that we belong in the cosmos; feeling right through to our bones (and beyond) that we are the trees, the sky, the air, the sea….this is where we know we are never alone.

And so I start my series of posts with an image of two autumn trees, taken at Plas Talgarth, in the Snowdonia National Park, near Machynlleth in Mid-Wales.  I found myself thinking about marriage every time I looked at them. But marriage is only a partial solution to loneliness.  And it’s only available to some. And, unless you both die at the same time, it doesn’t last forever. Feeling at home in the glory of autumn leaves – that is a sense of belonging that endures.